The Lucky Dress Read online

  “Shut up! No one thinks you’re fat!” She immediately cracks my code word. “You look totally hot. And I, for one, know for a fact that even Jack will be smitten.”

  I force away an irritated sigh. “I don’t want him to be smitten, Hannah.” I snap at her into the phone. She knows as well as I do that any conversation topic that starts with the words Jack, or My brother, is off limits. “I want him to be miserable.” He deserves at least that.

  I already know that this is going to be a mess of a week. Jack and I have been separated for one year. Not a single day goes by that I don’t relive everything that happened. Part of me is going to this wedding to support my brother Evan, and his now fiancée Hannah while they take the path that Jack and I never quite got to. Part of me is going just to prove to myself that Jack is exactly the guy I witnessed the day we broke up. But, I’ll be the first to admit, a tiny part of me, a part that I keep buried as far down as possible, somehow keeps finding its way to the surface and wants to know if I’m over Jack, or if he’s over me. Or if the getting over part is even conceivable?

  Two

  The Break Up

  Nine months ago.

  Portland, Oregon

  “I’m doing a final alteration because I’ve lost another five pounds, Lil. If you’re free today do you want to come with me?” I ask her before she can even say hello into the phone. That’s our relationship, we start conversations in the middle and expect the other to keep up.

  “Sure. My classes today were canceled due to some flooding issue at the school, so if you promise to let me drink the champagne this time, I’ll come.”

  “You might have a problem, ya know?” If only she could hear my eye roll through the phone. “It’s a fitting. I don’t think they serve champagne at the fittings. We’re not in Beverly Hills. They likely save the champagne for the initial dress consultation when you need a little buttering up to spend thousands of dollars on a dress you’ll only wear for one day.”

  “It’s Friday, I have an unexpected day off, and if I want to drink at 9:30 in the morning I’m gonna,” she laughs into the phone. “I’ll meet you there in twenty.’

  Thirty minutes later and I’m walking into the bridal salon. Lily is reclined on the couch waiting for me.

  “Sorry, I’m late. I planned on being early but you know me.”

  She nods her head in agreement. “What was it this time? A pair of shoes you couldn’t leave behind?” she glances at my worn old vintage Doc Martin boots. “A coffee shop you hadn’t been to before, then?” She waves her hand in the air as if there is a never ending list of excuses I use when I’m late.

  The list isn’t exactly never ending because I’m not always lying. At times it does take me a while to come up with a believable story for why I’m late. That is not the case this time.

  “Neither. Lara’s husband just called and she fell on her way into work this morning and shattered her ankle. She’s on her way into surgery now and he wanted to let me know that she can’t be a bridesmaid,” I heave a sigh, trying to hold back the tears hesitating just behind it. These kinds of things are not supposed to happen two days before your wedding. “How in one day am I going to find someone who can fit into her tiny dress to replace her?”

  I went to college with Lara and she is quite possibly the sweetest woman I’ve ever met. She works as an editor in a small publishing company based here in Portland, and she is one of those girls who refuses to use a red pen on her clients’ work because she doesn’t want to seem too harsh. Having to drop out of the wedding via a phone call from her husband is probably killing her.

  “Ugh, Em, I don’t know. That’s not good news on such short notice,” Lily frowns, her irritated that I’m late attitude melting away into something a tad less harsh.

  “Emi!” Glenda (the woman who’s done all my fittings) excitedly pulls me in for a hug. “It’s almost here, are you excited?”

  “Sure,” I try to hide the disappointment in finding out I now have only a Maid of Honor and no bridesmaid which throws off the total balance of the entire wedding party.

  “Uh-oh… What happened? I’m sure there’s a fix.”

  “My bridesmaid, Lara, just dropped out at the eleventh hour.” I wipe away an escaped tear rolling down my cheek. I don’t know what it is about planning weddings but they seem to bring out a woman’s emotional side, even when she didn’t exactly know she had one.

  “She didn’t drop out,” Lily corrects me. “The girl is injured and in surgery. That’s hardly dropping out.”

  “Oh no. The tiny one?” Glenda suddenly side eyes Lily with a forced smile. Lily glares over at us for basically just calling her the big one, even though she’s still smaller than me.

  “Yes! Who could possibly fit into that dress?”

  “Hmm…” Glenda taps her foot on the ground. “What about the young woman that was here for your fitting? The gorgeous blonde one?”

  “Hannah?” Lily scrunches her face in disapproval. She’s never loved Hannah quite the way I do, even though they spend a lot of time together.

  In Lily’s defense, Hannah was kind of an add on to our friend circle mostly because I was dating her brother Jack. We are all close to the same age and Hannah was always the girl to invite herself to anything Lily and I, or Jack and I for that matter, were doing. After a while, you just start to assume that she’ll be anywhere you are. The only thing is, Hannah always seems to be trying to pinch Lily’s BFF title. It’ll never happen, but that doesn’t mean Hannah won’t continue to try.

  “You think?” I ask Lily, who’s still shaking her head.

  “No way. She’s the most annoying woman on the planet. Nothing is ever up to her standards. Plus, she’ll probably try to squeeze me out of Maid of Honor spot since now she’ll ‘officially’ be family.”

  The quotes Lily is using around officially are the exact air quotes that Hannah uses when she compares being family to being my BFF.

  Having two best friends never works, and this is exactly why. There are just too many opportunities for jealousy, talking about someone behind their back, and someone feeling left out. I’ve tried to make it very clear to Hannah that she’s going to be my sister-in-law, and that is just as important as Lily being my best friend, but she’s not buying it.

  But sisters should be best friends, she whined to me one day while I was planning the bridal party.

  “She might be my only option,” I look to Lily whose frown is still lingering on her face. “She was pretty disappointed when I told her I was only having two bridesmaids and she wasn’t one of them.”

  Jack had asked a friend from high school and a friend from college to be his groomsmen, and I figured I would do the same. Even though he and Evan are really close, he didn’t ask Evan to be one of the groomsmen, just another reason why I didn’t ask Hannah. I might look pathetic if I could only get a friend from high school and a future family member to stand at my side during the wedding as if I had no other friends.

  “See if she can stop by today and I’ll make any necessary alterations before you pick up the dresses tomorrow.” Glenda smiles sweetly. “Now come, let’s try on this dress and see just how much you’ve shrunk!”

  Five pounds is not as much as I hoped it was. It was only a few pins for Glenda. No wonder she said she could get it done and move my pick up time from tomorrow morning to tonight. The alteration will probably take her ten minutes tops.

  “You look beautiful,” Lily grins, as I walk out to model, her approval clear on her face. “I can’t believe Amelia let you get this one and not her top pick.”

  Amelia is Jack’s mom and since my mom passed a while back, she’s been the one helping me plan this over the top wedding that I never even knew I wanted. Our theme is something along the lines of Old Hollywood, so the gold sequined art deco fitted, yet flowing, dress she chose, was beautiful, it just was not me.

  “How could she have said no? I love this one.”

  It truly is the most beautiful dre
ss I’ve ever seen. I’m not a flashy girl so there isn’t a lot of pizzazz in this dress. It’s off-white, alternating matte and glossy charmeuse panels that create a subtle chevron pattern making me look much slimmer than I am. A trail of buttons runs from the plunging back all the way to the hem. I decided to stay with the Old Hollywood theme and wear the small headpiece veil as opposed to the long dramatic one. It’s just more me to stay simple. It’s vintage but without all the glitter and glam that I so wanted to avoid.

  “It’s going to be a gorgeous wedding.” Glenda beams at her previous work of fitting me into a dress that was a size too big when I bought it.

  “It will. OK, as much as I’d love to wear this dress all day, I need to get going. I’m meeting Jack for lunch and we’re picking up the tuxedos and then we have to meet with Megan for a quick run through of everything to be done over the next twenty-four hours.”

  “Why does she need your help with that? Aren’t you paying her to plan the wedding? I’d think the decisions would’ve been set in stone by now.”

  “Of course, they are,” I say through the dressing room curtain. “She just likes to make sure we know everything that’s happening so problems don’t arise. It’s why she costs so much,” I explain.

  I glance around the curtain to see Lily shrug her shoulders. Lily didn’t have the big formal wedding. She decided to bring a few of her closest friends and family to Mexico where she eloped in a flowing dress on the beach. It was gorgeous, quick, and very Lily. No wedding planner needed.

  “What are you doing the rest of the day, Lil?” I ask through the curtain as Glenda helps me get out of the dress without poking a needle through my skin. A bloodstain is the last thing I need on a wedding dress right now.

  “I’ll probably go home and watch talk shows all day.”

  “Perfect,” I say sarcastically, knowing Lily lives for talk shows and has since we were tweens. Not that they are anything like they were back then. Sally Jesse Raphael, Jenny Jones, and Montel were all the rage back in those days. Nothing like a little night time news murder coverage to go with a storyline you first learned about on the daytime talk shows. Now the shows are so boring, you have The View, The Talk, and not as much family drama makes it to the shows unless you’re a politician or celebrity, and let’s face it, those stories are at times yawn worthy.

  I give Glenda Hannah’s number as I leave the shop and make my way to the Max station to grab a train downtown to Jack’s office. His office makes me wish I’d become a lawyer instead of playing it safe and studying business management. I guess all those years of student loans make for a great office space. Granted it’s only on the third floor level of a building right downtown, but he’s got a corner office facing a busy street and it’s really great for people watching. The best part, though, is that I helped him decorate it Mad Men style, so it’s got a retro-cool feel to it that just screams you need a martini the second you walk through the door.

  “Hey, Andy” I greet the head of the firm as I walk past his opened office door and he waves me in.

  Andy Morgan is the top dog at Morgan, Steller & Cabot. He’s been in the business longer than I’ve been alive and according to Jack, he’s the best of the best. He’s won cases that nobody thought possible, and he’s taken Jack in like the son he’s never had. He may be a little creepy at times, although, according to Jack that’s only because he’s on his fourth marriage and just can’t seem to keep his hands to himself when it comes to random women. It’s safe to say I keep my distance.

  “So, you’re stealing our boy away for three weeks after today, huh?”

  “That’s right, and if I need to I’ll throw his phone into the ocean too.”

  We both laugh, even though I know it might actually happen. I swear I never knew lawyers were on the clock 24/7 until I got involved with one. He seems to always be needed to answer a question or update someone on a case they are looking into.

  “I supposed that’ll be OK. Hey, I wanted to give you this before the wedding.” Andy grabs an envelope off his desk and walks over to me, dropping it into my opened hand. “I truly hope this wedding will be the only marriage you’ll ever need.” He winks as he walks back to his desk chair, settling in to watch me open his surprise. “Go on, open it.”

  I hate opening gifts in front of people. I’m totally that girl who since her teens has requested no gifts at my parties. What if what they gave you is embarrassing or horrible? How do you keep your face from going with your feelings as opposed to the thank you coming out of your mouth? Normally that’s what gives me away. Despite my best efforts, my face doesn’t always match my words.

  When I open the card a check glides to the floor, landing at my feet. I reach down and grab it, stunned for a moment over the amount it’s made out for.

  “Five thousand dollars? What? Andy… we can’t—”

  “Yes, you can,” he demands from his desk with a stern look on his face. “Now, I never had kids and you two are special to me. I want to make sure you get the best start.”

  “Wow, well…Thank you.” Thank you seems nowhere near the appropriate response, but it’s all I know how to do.

  “Now go, find that fiancé of yours.”

  “Thank you again, Andy.” I back out of his office safely shoving the card and check into my bag before heading down the hall towards Jack’s office.

  “Hey, Mad—” I start to say hello to Jack’s assistant Madison when I realize she’s not sitting at her desk. She was hired about a month ago, so I don’t know her well, but she always seems like the sweetest woman whenever I’m here. She’s just out of school as a legal assistant and she really has helped Jack with organizing his cases and information.

  “Are you ready?” I open Jack’s office door and hear a startled squeal to my left. I turn towards Madison, who is nearly completely naked, and straddling Jack face to face on the couch. She has a hand in his hair, and another on his shoulder.

  For a second my head spins until I finally pull myself together. She nonchalantly grabs an article of clothing from the arm of the couch, a haughty smile on her face.

  “Emi!” Jack pushes her aside and jumps up while trying to straighten his rumpled shirt and tie. “It’s not what you think.”

  For a moment I don’t even know what I think or even why I’m here. As I glance around the room to see if what’s happening is actually happening, it feels as if my feet are suddenly giant cement blocks attached to the floor preventing me from just getting the hell out.

  “Ems,” Jack is kneeling on the floor grabbing my purse that has fallen there and picking up the things that have rolled out. I stare down at him, unable to speak. “I was not having sex with her. I know it looked bad but that’s not what happened.”

  Have you ever actually truly experienced the moment your heart breaks into a million pieces? I swear there is an audible sound. Like a shatter that turns into heart wrenching silent sobs which only you can feel.

  I shove away the silent sobbing and allow the rage to quickly take over.

  “Why are you even in here?” I yell at Madison, who is taking her sweet time walking around the room picking up her stray pieces of clothing.

  “What does it look like I was doing?” She smirks before disappearing into Jack’s private bathroom.

  “Please, let me explain,” Jack begs, his hand resting on my arm and his face as pale as if he had just seen a ghost. His dark hair is disheveled and unruly, and all I can picture is her hands running through it.

  “What. The. Fuck. Jack? How could you do this to me?”

  “I didn’t. I… uh… I…” He stumbles over his words, kicks Madison’s shoes out of his way and takes a few steps towards me as I back away from him.

  “Give me that!” I jerk my bag from his hands and turn to the hallway to make my escape.

  “Emi, stop.” He grabs my arm gently, pulling me back into his office and shutting the door. “Please, Em, let me explain.” He’s leaning over me, my back against the door, hi
s words echoing directly into my ear.

  But, the sobbing from within is more than I can think through. The words my mom once said after I had a break up in high school suddenly swirl through my head. There is no excuse for cheating, none. Find someone who will love you the way you deserve.

  The pain from my heart breaking rushes up to my throat, pushing the tears close to flooding down my cheeks but I somehow choke them back.

  “I can’t. There is nothing to explain. I saw what I saw, now please, Jack, just let me leave with a little bit of grace,” my voice cracks and for a moment I don’t think he’s going to let me out of his office but he takes a step back, the pain on his face is obvious, though it can’t even compare to what I’m feeling inside.

  I jerk the door open, slamming it against the bookcase behind it and speed walk down the hall, stopping momentarily in front of Andy’s office, who is now out of his chair and nearly in his own doorway, trying to see what the commotion is about.

  “Please, Emi, just talk to me,” Jack begs behind me.

  I turn to face him, just a few feet between us, Andy watching the scene play out. I can’t even pretend that what I saw was right on any level. He allowed Madison to be nearly naked, and on him, touching him. If he truly loved me it should have stopped long before it reached that point.

  I take a deep breath, pushing down the feelings that are starting to suffocate me.

  “She can have you.” I pull the three carat diamond off my finger and for a moment I stare at it. I’m supposed to marry Jack in two days. When I hear him take a step towards me, I wipe away the tears so he maybe won’t notice them. “Don’t follow me. I’ve got nothing to say to you.” I pitch the ring at his head and watch him duck before scrambling to pick it up off the floor.